Been a while

I don't know if I can do this; I don't know if I even want this. All I know is I have to try.  I don't know that it'll be worth it, but I want the chance.  Fate and I haven't been the best of friends lately, but maybe my Karma will allow me a break, a chance.

So much going on. I need a pensieve like Dumbeldore's (Eff yeah I just made an HP reference)  to clear out some of the clutter in my brain.  

There are a lot of things going fantastically well for me right now, and I have so much to be grateful for on a daily basis. Why can't those things ever just be enough?  Is it human nature to want something more or different?

An unknown author once said, 
"Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections."

What do I want?  What am I willing to sacrifice for that?  I have no clue, but I'll work on figuring that out.

All the mistakes I make arise from forsaking my own station and trying to see the object from another person's point of view.  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson


 9/29

I got a few emails about this one.  It's intentionally left vague as it deals with my work sitch. Nothing more, nothing less. 'Sides everything is cool.

 

So this is what happened.

Basically the full story is this: We are here in Davenport, IA because Nate's grandma is in the dying process. We were going to a bbq at Nate's sister Kelly's. We stopped at a grocery store to pick up some baked beans. As we were leaving this old man fell down in the parking lot and bloodied up his face and broke his pinky. Nate stopped and helped the man. After he got back in the car he was kind of shook up, but seemed ok. We got maybe 2 blocks away when he said he didn't feel good. Next thing I know he's fainted. I tried to wake him... I grabbed the wheel and put the car in neutral since his foot was on the gas. Somehow I managed to avoid hitting any other cars. We came up to another intersection and I had to choose the ravine or other cars and I chose the ravine. We flipped the car a few times and I am told we were airborn. I don't really know. I have a broken hand and collar bone, a cracked rib, and a crack in my sternum. Pretty major swelling on my face head and neck and scratches and bruises. Nate had a severe concussions and a cracked vertebrae. I got out of the hospital Monday and Nate got out of the ICU last night. I hope he's out of the hospital in a day or two.

What I want

I have taken some extra time this year to think over my new year's resolutions.

I think this might be because I can not think of a single resolution made for this time of year that I have kept. Well, I hope that this year will be different because I have taken careful consideration this year.

1. I want to make myself more available to my friends and family. I have become very isolated since moving to Walnut Grove, and I need to work on that. I work in Springfield, so I don't see why I haven't been more proactive about making plans with friends there. I want to work on that.

2. I want to lose 52 pounds this year. All fitness articles seem to agree that 1 pound a week is healthy, and I hope this is true. I have made some fairly good strides towards this goal already, and just want to keep it up. Nate and I have joined a gym where we can work out together on the weekends, and I will be happy to combine resolutions 1 and 2 if anyone wants to take advantage of a guest pass from time to time. But most importantly I want to make myself as healthy as possible for when I get pregnant again. I know that what happened last time is an act of Fate, but I want to know that I did EVERYTHING in my power to make it as perfect as possible.

3. I want to go on more vacations. Even just weekend getaways. Nate and I have not had a real vacation (just the two of us) ever. I think that this is beneficial to a marriage. Plus, it ties in with resolution number 4.

4. I want to try for another baby at some point this year. I don't think that needs explanations. :)